Truth be told life is more about feelings … than about thinking  by the well know romanian essayist Adrian Gabriel Dumitru

I always analyse myself.

… but also many from the stage of my life …. and to be honest … my best moments were the ones when i was overwhelmed by the emotions … not by my thoughts.

Even … if i still laugh … realising that all was illusory.

The books i’ve wrote … the first 20 … were a lot influenced by those strong emotions.

I loved … be dominated by … my heart.

But … all became an emotional balance.

And … little by little … day by day … i was losing my minds … more and more.

I was losing the control on myself.

I felt … all so intense … but my brain was not functioning anymore.

Or … maybe … i felt so, so alive that I’ve considered it is useless to think anymore.

I wanted to feel.

… feel life.

And … actually feel … i am alive.

But today …. I look back in time and i consider all a charade.

Yes … a stupid charade.

In fact … stupid charades … cause all was so, so illusory.

Somehow … i feel i was stupid … allowing to be dominated by my emotions.

But … you know what?!

I don’t regret it.

No …

I felt … alive.

… very.

I was waking up … overwhelmed by a large spectrum of illusory emotions.

I was feeling … the life itself.

… not understanding a thing.

But … felt present.

And all happened repetitively.

Day … by day.

Then days became weeks … weeks became months … and …

I was not aware of the illusion.

… having lots of moments when i’ve been enjoying it.

So … my heart dominated my life.

I’ve allowed it to happen … ignoring all my thoughts … and perceptions.

But … still knowing all was stupid …. I don’t regret it.

I felt alive … and i even miss it.

Most certainly … as Stanley Kubrick said … “The truth of a thing is in the feel of it, not in the think of it.”

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spiritual & philosophical essay” written by the writer Adrian Gabriel Dumitru for FREE.

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